We are chimpanzees
I have asked myself many times how it happens that it is so easy for bullying to happen within a church environment. I'm not a social anthropologist, but I think it's just a matter of statistics that it is common. And then structures that permit it. We are chimpanzees, basically. We are all (?) a bit that way inclined. We push and shove and shout to get our own way. But we are of course, thinking chimpanzees, and for human societies, it shouldn't be as simple as that.
But even so, if you give a group of people the opportunity to get what they want by pushing other people around, some of them will take it. Just statistics. Which is why it is so ridiculous for anyone to claim that there is no bullying within their organisation. There will be. There's no point in taking it personally.
You can, of course, make it harder for bullies to flourish and bullying to go on unobserved. And unsurprisingly, you can make it easier. I believe that the structure of the Church of England at least, makes it easier. One thing is giving one person absolute power. Within the CofE Bishops have almost absolute power within their own Diocese, and parish priests have a huge amount of autonomy and independence within their parishes. The other factor is oversight. An organisation that has a bullying policy, someone you can report it to and so on, will have less of it. In the CofE, the only people who could exercise such an oversight role are the Bishops and Archdeacons. And they don't. Not enough, in any case. Mostly because they simply don't have the time. But in many cases, they don't have the necessary training, either.
Many people, not just Archdeacons!, would assume that the best thing to do if someone reports they are being abused is to ask the alleged perpetrator about it. Seems fair. Except that it is the worst possible thing you can do in potential abuse cases. If the accusation is true, the victim needs to be protected, and if you expose them to their abuser in that way, you simply make their position many times worse. It is also a complete betrayal of trust, and in a church environment, this is particularly important.
Of course it may not be true. But the confidant should not make that assumption. Unfortunately, there is often a prevailing view that these accusations are not true. And certainly that accused clergy should be protected by other clergy. It is not always clergy who do the abusing, and clergy can themselves be bullied, too. Sometimes by other clergy. But the response to accusations is often status driven; the higher status person will be protected.
So, what should people do? You don't have to believe it is true in order to be nice to the person in front of you. But if you're trying to be nice, you shouldn't say anything that sounds as if you are calling them a liar! Often, the tea and sympathy step is missed out. Offer to put the kettle on! Listening sympathetically can often help a lot. You need to ask yourself if it is appropriate to take it further. If a crime has been committed the answer to that is yes. But warn the victim that you should do so.
Otherwise, ask them if they want you to take it further. They may very well not. Though they may change their minds. If you are the Bishop or Archdeacon, you should be thinking in terms of pastoral care. But anyone can do that. If you're not, you don't have to mount an investigation. And whoever you are, you should remain neutral and not assume anything until all the facts are in.
Bishops, as I said, have precious little in the way of overseers. The new Cathedrals proposals also would seem to remove oversight from Cathedral Chapters. This is unwise. Everyone needs to have someone keeping an eye on them. Most people will never need it. But just sometimes, it will make all the difference.
But even so, if you give a group of people the opportunity to get what they want by pushing other people around, some of them will take it. Just statistics. Which is why it is so ridiculous for anyone to claim that there is no bullying within their organisation. There will be. There's no point in taking it personally.
You can, of course, make it harder for bullies to flourish and bullying to go on unobserved. And unsurprisingly, you can make it easier. I believe that the structure of the Church of England at least, makes it easier. One thing is giving one person absolute power. Within the CofE Bishops have almost absolute power within their own Diocese, and parish priests have a huge amount of autonomy and independence within their parishes. The other factor is oversight. An organisation that has a bullying policy, someone you can report it to and so on, will have less of it. In the CofE, the only people who could exercise such an oversight role are the Bishops and Archdeacons. And they don't. Not enough, in any case. Mostly because they simply don't have the time. But in many cases, they don't have the necessary training, either.
Many people, not just Archdeacons!, would assume that the best thing to do if someone reports they are being abused is to ask the alleged perpetrator about it. Seems fair. Except that it is the worst possible thing you can do in potential abuse cases. If the accusation is true, the victim needs to be protected, and if you expose them to their abuser in that way, you simply make their position many times worse. It is also a complete betrayal of trust, and in a church environment, this is particularly important.
Of course it may not be true. But the confidant should not make that assumption. Unfortunately, there is often a prevailing view that these accusations are not true. And certainly that accused clergy should be protected by other clergy. It is not always clergy who do the abusing, and clergy can themselves be bullied, too. Sometimes by other clergy. But the response to accusations is often status driven; the higher status person will be protected.
So, what should people do? You don't have to believe it is true in order to be nice to the person in front of you. But if you're trying to be nice, you shouldn't say anything that sounds as if you are calling them a liar! Often, the tea and sympathy step is missed out. Offer to put the kettle on! Listening sympathetically can often help a lot. You need to ask yourself if it is appropriate to take it further. If a crime has been committed the answer to that is yes. But warn the victim that you should do so.
Otherwise, ask them if they want you to take it further. They may very well not. Though they may change their minds. If you are the Bishop or Archdeacon, you should be thinking in terms of pastoral care. But anyone can do that. If you're not, you don't have to mount an investigation. And whoever you are, you should remain neutral and not assume anything until all the facts are in.
Bishops, as I said, have precious little in the way of overseers. The new Cathedrals proposals also would seem to remove oversight from Cathedral Chapters. This is unwise. Everyone needs to have someone keeping an eye on them. Most people will never need it. But just sometimes, it will make all the difference.
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